I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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