She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize