I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize