My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
