I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
