Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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