no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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