i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
