dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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