Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize