So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
handjob tips. give me some.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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