you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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