Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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