after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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