Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
try to milk me bitch
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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