Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
