dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
