Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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