I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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