The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
