How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
