I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
