Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
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I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
i now understand why vodka
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants