I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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