I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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