i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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