note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
