Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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