I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
