you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Damn victory sex feels great
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
