i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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