Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
i've created a new STD.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
