so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
