Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
