How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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