How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
