Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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