i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
