I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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