Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize