There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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