in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
