Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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