And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
