The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
