The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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