Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
