he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
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His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
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do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Randomize