my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
