I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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