Sponge bath it is.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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