he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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