The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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