she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
