so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize