Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
