peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
