He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
tell me about the eggs
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