Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
