you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
