you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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