I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
