Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize