I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
